Lessons from Life

When Masculine Energy Returns: A Journey of Inner Reconciliation

There is a natural dance between masculine and feminine energy that moves through everything—relationships, creativity, healing, and even the way we meet challenges or open to life. These are not merely gendered concepts. They are archetypal forces that exist in all of us, regardless of our sexual orientation or identity.

Masculine energy is direction, structure, protection, and action. Feminine energy is fluidity, intuition, nurture, and presence. When these two forces are balanced within us, we move through life with a sense of wholeness. We can hold space and also surrender. We can protect and also receive. This inner harmony is what allows us to connect with others authentically—whether they embody masculine, feminine, or any blend of energies.

Many people speak about attraction as something purely physical or romantic. But in truth, energetic attraction is deeply tied to how these polarities are playing out inside us. When we reject or suppress an energy within ourselves, we tend to either fear it in others or become overly dependent on it. But when we accept and integrate both energies, we begin to magnetize relationships, opportunities, and experiences that reflect that inner integration.

In my personal journey, one of the most profound shifts came when I began healing my relationship with the masculine—not just with men in the outer world, but with the masculine energy inside of me. This process began, perhaps unsurprisingly, with healing the relationship I held with my father—internally.

Even though my father had done things that I consider harmful and at times even cruel, I began the work of forgiveness—not to erase the past, but to transform the emotional weight it carried inside me. I realized that my father is not just a person outside of me—he represents a whole energetic pattern within me. In a way, he lives inside of me—not just through DNA, but energetically. When I rejected him, I was also rejecting a part of myself.

As I began to integrate that energy, I noticed powerful changes. I started to access qualities that had always been part of him: self-confidence, presence, fire, strength, a kind of grounded authority. And I didn’t just feel them conceptually—I could embody them. I began leading healing circles with more clarity, speaking in front of people with greater calm, and protecting my boundaries without guilt or fear. My energy felt more whole, more sovereign.

At a certain point, I also realized how this healing had affected the way I related to others, especially men. As a gay man with a more delicate and feminine body, I’ve always been drawn to masculine energy in others—physically, emotionally, and energetically. I often found myself attracted to men who were not only energetically dominant but also physically thicker, more muscular than me. That contrast has always magnetized me. And what I began to notice was that they, too, were often attracted to me—precisely because I embodied something opposite to them. My softness, my openness, my feminine presence became a kind of energetic complement to their strength and solidity. There was a natural polarity, and with it, a deep mutual pull.

This was more than a coincidence—it was energetic resonance. When we stop pushing something away inside of us, we stop pushing it away in the world. I had stopped rejecting the masculine. I had made peace with it. And so it could finally come toward me.

And just as healing the relationship with my father reactivated the masculine within, I know that healing the relationship with my mother also plays a vital role. We all—regardless of identity—must balance these inner forces. This isn’t about who you date, who you sleep with, or how you dress. It’s about energy. And when you learn to work with both the masculine and feminine inside of you, you gain access to true harmony. You become capable of relating with all people—masculine, feminine, or fluid—with greater compassion, attraction, and clarity.