Lessons from Life

What follows might not be easy to hear, but stay with me — there’s meaning in what comes next 

Where free will truly exists
For me, free will, as we commonly understand it here on Earth, does not exist. True free will exists when we are not incarnated in a body—that is, between lives, in another dimension. It is there that the soul chooses the path for the next incarnation: the experiences, the context, the challenges to face, even the encounters that will shape us. Once we enter a body, we live what has been chosen at the soul level.

Conditioning, apparent choice, and unconditional love
Our choices here on Earth are not free: they are the effect of the conditions we established before incarnating. Every single aspect—family, language, cultural environment, even the smallest daily situations—was chosen by the soul as part of a larger design. The consequences we experience stem from this context and the accumulated experiences.

If we could truly live the exact same life as another person, with the same inner and outer history, the same traumas, and the same culture, we would make the same decisions. This is why, incarnated in a physical body on Earth, free will does not exist: everything that happens has been chosen before incarnation, and everything has a reason, because even the smallest details contribute to creating the largest events.

In light of this, when I encounter someone who does harm, I do not feel hatred, anger, or resentment toward them. I know very well that they are unaware that it would be far more beneficial for them to live in love. Those who hate, who live in anger, who move away from love, do not know how much more natural and light it would be to open themselves to goodness.

And this is where forgiveness comes into play: I love unconditionally because I see the soul behind the experience. I forgive, not because I justify, not because I have to relate to someone who does harm, or because I repress my anger. I forgive because I understand. I understand that this soul is on a journey, that it has chosen certain experiences to evolve. I can defend myself, set boundaries, stop those who bring destruction, but within me I have already forgiven because I have understood.

The role of darkness
I am not justifying darkness: I always try to stop those who do harm. But I recognize it as part of the evolutionary plan. Before incarnating, some souls choose to play the role of perpetrators, others choose to play the role of victims. Both experiences are necessary. Hitler and Gandhi, for example, showed two opposite poles: one developed hatred, the other compassion. Yet, if they had swapped experiences, culture, and traumas, they would have manifested the opposite.

It is not about absolution, but about understanding: without experiencing darkness, one cannot truly know the light. Tao teaches us this: opposites complement and define each other.

No One Has Power Over You
If every experience has been chosen by the soul before incarnating, then no one has power over you. Every single thing that happens to you, even the most painful, was chosen by you before you were born. You chose it to learn, to remember, to evolve, and these lessons and virtues you acquire remain as soul memories, life after life. This does not mean passively enduring, but understanding that you are not a victim of anyone. Victims and perpetrators are part of the same design that souls have agreed to experience.

If we want to go even deeper, it is important to emphasize that even between one incarnation and the next, in a sense, we do not fully possess free will. I know, this may seem contradictory to what I said before, but this is exactly the right moment to clarify it.

The desires that a soul experiences before incarnating, when it exists in a dimension between one life and the next, ultimately belong to the Creator of All That Is — some call it God, others use different names. In reality, God is not an old man with a beard, but an energy; I call it the Creator of All That Is.

We are like the cells of the Creator: part of the whole, fragments of the same divine essence. These desires are the Creator’s desires manifesting within each soul. Life scenarios, the people we meet, and the experiences we will have in our next incarnation intertwine with the desires and choices that other souls made before incarnating, creating a perfect design of experiences and connections. The stories of every being fit together like pieces of a cosmic mosaic, and in this weave, everything finds its place, every encounter has a purpose.

All these scenarios align harmoniously because it is a single Mind that organizes them: that of the Creator.

But do you know the greatest surprise of all, at the end of this story? It is that, in reality, you are God. Only this divine energy has fragmented into countless sparks, countless consciousnesses, called souls.

This is the great realization: understanding that the divine is not outside of you, but within you. That you are a divine cell in evolution, and that every experience you live — light or shadow, joy or pain — is part of the path chosen by you as a soul to evolve and to know yourself in the totality of the Creator.

There is a natural dance between masculine and feminine energy that moves through everything—relationships, creativity, healing, and even the way we meet challenges or open to life. These are not merely gendered concepts. They are archetypal forces that exist in all of us, regardless of our sexual orientation or identity.

Masculine energy is direction, structure, protection, and action. Feminine energy is fluidity, intuition, nurture, and presence. When these two forces are balanced within us, we move through life with a sense of wholeness. We can hold space and also surrender. We can protect and also receive. This inner harmony is what allows us to connect with others authentically—whether they embody masculine, feminine, or any blend of energies.

Many people speak about attraction as something purely physical or romantic. But in truth, energetic attraction is deeply tied to how these polarities are playing out inside us. When we reject or suppress an energy within ourselves, we tend to either fear it in others or become overly dependent on it. But when we accept and integrate both energies, we begin to magnetize relationships, opportunities, and experiences that reflect that inner integration.

In my personal journey, one of the most profound shifts came when I began healing my relationship with the masculine—not just with men in the outer world, but with the masculine energy inside of me. This process began, perhaps unsurprisingly, with healing the relationship I held with my father—internally.

Even though my father had done things that I consider harmful and at times even cruel, I began the work of forgiveness—not to erase the past, but to transform the emotional weight it carried inside me. I realized that my father is not just a person outside of me—he represents a whole energetic pattern within me. In a way, he lives inside of me—not just through DNA, but energetically. When I rejected him, I was also rejecting a part of myself.

As I began to integrate that energy, I noticed powerful changes. I started to access qualities that had always been part of him: self-confidence, presence, fire, strength, a kind of grounded authority. And I didn’t just feel them conceptually—I could embody them. I began leading healing circles with more clarity, speaking in front of people with greater calm, and protecting my boundaries without guilt or fear. My energy felt more whole, more sovereign.

At a certain point, I also realized how this healing had affected the way I related to others, especially men. As a gay man with a more delicate and feminine body, I’ve always been drawn to masculine energy in others—physically, emotionally, and energetically. I often found myself attracted to men who were not only energetically dominant but also physically thicker, more muscular than me. That contrast has always magnetized me. And what I began to notice was that they, too, were often attracted to me—precisely because I embodied something opposite to them. My softness, my openness, my feminine presence became a kind of energetic complement to their strength and solidity. There was a natural polarity, and with it, a deep mutual pull.

This was more than a coincidence—it was energetic resonance. When we stop pushing something away inside of us, we stop pushing it away in the world. I had stopped rejecting the masculine. I had made peace with it. And so it could finally come toward me.

And just as healing the relationship with my father reactivated the masculine within, I know that healing the relationship with my mother also plays a vital role. We all—regardless of identity—must balance these inner forces. This isn’t about who you date, who you sleep with, or how you dress. It’s about energy. And when you learn to work with both the masculine and feminine inside of you, you gain access to true harmony. You become capable of relating with all people—masculine, feminine, or fluid—with greater compassion, attraction, and clarity.